I love you, I love you

This morning I woke up to the sound of Nate’s alarm clock. Rolling over and flopping my arm on top of him I moan, “Nate, do you know it’s 6:20am?”

His voice rumbles from beyond the covers, “Yeah.”

“I’m getting up to make coffee,” I say.

I wobble down the hallway, passing Serenity’s room and noticing her door is open. We never leave her door open. I wonder if Nate forgot to shut it last night after he put her to bed.

About five steps into the living room I remembered that she spent the night at my parent’s house.

Hmm. That’s a nice feeling. A morning with no bottle duty or diaper duty…just a little time for myself. Serenity’s in good hands.

I made myself some coffee and breakfast and sat on the couch. Opening my journal, I started to thank the Lord for a morning to just be quiet by myself. I started thanking Him that Serenity gets to spend time with her grandparents…and then I found myself praying what felt like words straight from heaven.

I prayed that Serenity would grow in wisdom just from being around my parents. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the amount of wisdom my parents carry lately. You just have one conversation with my mom or dad, and you feel the wisdom they carry. My mom has this intense sense of compassion she carries, and her wisdom is deep in knowing when to speak and when to just listen. She has deep wisdom in parenting- she has learned from both the good decisions and bad decisions she made while we were growing up. She will tell you that herself. My dad carries this crazy wisdom that is quiet, patient, but so unbelievably intense. I’m not kidding about this. He waits, until you ask him, and it’s like your flooded with all this knowledge that is layers and layers deep. He has learned so many things from his years in business and dealing with all different kinds of people. He thinks about the details, and how to get to the destination.

I prayed that as Serenity grows up she will have issues in her life where she desires to talk with her grandparents before even talking to her parents. I desire that Serenity loves her grandparents just as much as she loves us. I desire that she spends time with them. That she gets home from school, someday, and says, “Mom, I want to go hang out with Grandma and Grandpa this afternoon.” I desire that she will desire to spend time with them.

I prayed that Serenity will trust her grandparents. All growing up, I knew the two people I could trust with EVERYTHING were my parents. I desire that Serenity has that same deep trust in her grandparents. That she knows they love her and only want to see her succeed.

My heart just soared with thankfulness as I was praying.

Later that morning, I just felt that same sense of overwhelming thankfulness. Pulling my cell phone from my jacket packet, as I walked out of Target, I texted my mom…

Thank you, Mom, for taking Reni today! I’m getting a lot done!

She replies, “It is my pleasure. She is the sweetest girl.”

It brings tears to my eyes as I write this now. There is no greater feeling than leaving my daughter with my mom…. who knows the intensity of love between a mother and a daughter…and knowing that my mom loves Serenity with that same intensity, overwhelms me.

Thank you, God, for a mom who loves deeply and is teaching Serenity the depth of love.

I know when I come to get her tonight, my dad will tell me how sweet Serenity is, and all the time he spent with her getting her to smile and playing with her.

What a gift it is…the love between a mother and daughter….the love between a father and daughter. There is so much beauty in the hours I spend doing the same things with Serenity…feeding, changing diapers, playing with toys, looking at ourselves in the mirror, ticking her and giggling with her.

I know she is getting to know the love of her Heavenly Father because of the way she experiences love from the people she spends time with.

There are so many people who love on her throughout a normal week: both sets of grandparents, my sister, my sister-in-law and brother….

Thank you, God, that your love is deeper than the love we experience on this earth. I cannot even imagine what it’s going to be like seeing You, Father, face to face.

 I cry just thinking about it.