I love you, I love you

This morning I woke up to the sound of Nate’s alarm clock. Rolling over and flopping my arm on top of him I moan, “Nate, do you know it’s 6:20am?”

His voice rumbles from beyond the covers, “Yeah.”

“I’m getting up to make coffee,” I say.

I wobble down the hallway, passing Serenity’s room and noticing her door is open. We never leave her door open. I wonder if Nate forgot to shut it last night after he put her to bed.

About five steps into the living room I remembered that she spent the night at my parent’s house.

Hmm. That’s a nice feeling. A morning with no bottle duty or diaper duty…just a little time for myself. Serenity’s in good hands.

I made myself some coffee and breakfast and sat on the couch. Opening my journal, I started to thank the Lord for a morning to just be quiet by myself. I started thanking Him that Serenity gets to spend time with her grandparents…and then I found myself praying what felt like words straight from heaven.

I prayed that Serenity would grow in wisdom just from being around my parents. I’ve been so overwhelmed by the amount of wisdom my parents carry lately. You just have one conversation with my mom or dad, and you feel the wisdom they carry. My mom has this intense sense of compassion she carries, and her wisdom is deep in knowing when to speak and when to just listen. She has deep wisdom in parenting- she has learned from both the good decisions and bad decisions she made while we were growing up. She will tell you that herself. My dad carries this crazy wisdom that is quiet, patient, but so unbelievably intense. I’m not kidding about this. He waits, until you ask him, and it’s like your flooded with all this knowledge that is layers and layers deep. He has learned so many things from his years in business and dealing with all different kinds of people. He thinks about the details, and how to get to the destination.

I prayed that as Serenity grows up she will have issues in her life where she desires to talk with her grandparents before even talking to her parents. I desire that Serenity loves her grandparents just as much as she loves us. I desire that she spends time with them. That she gets home from school, someday, and says, “Mom, I want to go hang out with Grandma and Grandpa this afternoon.” I desire that she will desire to spend time with them.

I prayed that Serenity will trust her grandparents. All growing up, I knew the two people I could trust with EVERYTHING were my parents. I desire that Serenity has that same deep trust in her grandparents. That she knows they love her and only want to see her succeed.

My heart just soared with thankfulness as I was praying.

Later that morning, I just felt that same sense of overwhelming thankfulness. Pulling my cell phone from my jacket packet, as I walked out of Target, I texted my mom…

Thank you, Mom, for taking Reni today! I’m getting a lot done!

She replies, “It is my pleasure. She is the sweetest girl.”

It brings tears to my eyes as I write this now. There is no greater feeling than leaving my daughter with my mom…. who knows the intensity of love between a mother and a daughter…and knowing that my mom loves Serenity with that same intensity, overwhelms me.

Thank you, God, for a mom who loves deeply and is teaching Serenity the depth of love.

I know when I come to get her tonight, my dad will tell me how sweet Serenity is, and all the time he spent with her getting her to smile and playing with her.

What a gift it is…the love between a mother and daughter….the love between a father and daughter. There is so much beauty in the hours I spend doing the same things with Serenity…feeding, changing diapers, playing with toys, looking at ourselves in the mirror, ticking her and giggling with her.

I know she is getting to know the love of her Heavenly Father because of the way she experiences love from the people she spends time with.

There are so many people who love on her throughout a normal week: both sets of grandparents, my sister, my sister-in-law and brother….

Thank you, God, that your love is deeper than the love we experience on this earth. I cannot even imagine what it’s going to be like seeing You, Father, face to face.

 I cry just thinking about it.

Thinking about Beauty

Yesterday, my dad asked me when I would actually have time to write in this new blog. I laughed with him, knowing that my life is full and busy right now. But for some reason, I am feeling the need to have this space to share about the things on my heart and my mind.

And this morning, I knew it was time to write again.

Lately I’ve been thinking about beauty.

I started reading the book entitled, My Time in Heaven, by Richard Sigmund. I was skeptical as I started reading, but as I endeavored into the book, it resonated with my spirit more and more.

The book is about a man who the Lord brought to heaven for a short amount of time. The things that this man saw and experienced there are incredible. For any of you who are curious, I highly encourage you to read the book!

Here is an excerpt that spoke to me:

“Every now and then, as I traveled down the pathway, I would get a glimpse of Jesus just a little way ahead. He was talking with people, loving them, hugging them. They were looking at Him with such expressions of adoration and worship that I wanted to be there just to fall at His feet. Yet the angel would say, “Just a little further on down the path. You have an appointment with God, and you will meet with the Lord.” The anticipation was bubbling up within me. I just wanted to be with Jesus. But I knew I had to wait.

In heaven, everybody has a turn to see Jesus directly, and therefore, nobody is anxious about it. I felt great tranquility because I knew that when it was my turn, it would be a glorious moment for all eternity…yet this was the remarkable thing: though I could see Jesus ahead of me, I could not say that He was not also right behind me. He moved at what seemed to be the speed of light. There was only one of Him, but Jesus seemed to be everywhere at the same time. And I just wanted to be with Him….

He took my hand and began to walk with me like a father would with a little child. We walked a little further down the street and he said, “I have many things to tell you. I will come to you again in just a short time. I have something else to tell you, but right now, there is more for you to see. More for you to witness and experience. Tell My people I am coming soon. I love them.” Then, He gave me a big hug and kissed me on the cheek and said, “I love you, too.”

The Lord has used this book to remind me of how deep His love is. He loves me deeply. As deeply as I can possibly imagine. At the same time He loves me with all He has, He loves the next person just the same. His love is deeper and purer and truer than we can fathom.

And we are all in search for that love.

As women, especially, it’s as if we are constantly asking the question, Am I lovely? Am I worth your attention? Your affection?

Do you find me lovely?

I found myself struggling with this last week as I was constantly frustrated with Nate. In my eyes, he couldn’t do anything right. He wasn’t helping out enough at home, he wasn’t making me enough of a priority, he wasn’t being considerate, he wasn’t doing the things he told me he would do. After several days of division and many tears, my mom said something to me that resonated, she said, “Daintry, do you think you are trying to get your fulfillment from Nate?”

Wow.

Right on, Mom.

As I looked at my heart, it was true. I was focused on all of the things Nate wasn’t doing right because I was asking him the question in my mind, “Am I worth something to you, Nate? Am I lovely to you? Do you think about me?”

But Nate wasn’t catching the hint.

Of course he loves me, of course I am important to him. But his actions weren’t showing me.

And it was later that day that I began reading this book about heaven. And the Lord spoke to me about His love for me. That He finds me lovely. That He never takes His eyes off of me. That He would give anything for me. That He just wants to walk with me, sit with me, talk with me, know me.

I’ve been so aware of this lately.

I am mostly a stay at home mom, but I also spend time teaching dance and working as a receptionist at a salon.

At the dance studio, I am constantly bombarded with these little lives asking the question silently, am I lovely? Miss Daintry, will you listen to me when I talk to you? Am I worthy of your attention? Am I interesting? Am I a priority to you? Somedays, I feel like they are screaming it at me, and I feel the weight of responsibility and impact resting heavily on my shoulders.

Children have a way of silently asking those questions in the sweetest of ways. And I am discovering adults do too.

The other day at the salon the topic of working out came up, which led to one of the stylist sharing about her stomach fat, which led to another stylist commenting about how her body had never been the same since childbirth.

“There’s no turning back,” she said as she glanced up at me, “ I have stretch marks up to here.” She held her hand right below her bust. Her gaze said to me oh well, I just have to live with it.  But it was as if I heard her say:

“I have these marks on my body that I can’t get rid of, and the world says they are ugly, but they are mine now. I cannot escape them. I hope I will find a man who will still think I’m lovely.”

And within it all, I heard the cry of so many women. Am I lovely?

With all the marks, scars, blemishes…we try so hard to look like the women the world says are beautiful…but no one looks like that. We all are hiding our blemishes and whispering quietly, am I still lovely?

Will you see my heart?

Will you look beyond my body, beyond my hair, and makeup, and jewelry…will you talk to me and think I’m lovely?

And will that be enough?

Am I enough?

It’s the question of humanity. When we look to each other to get answers, we don’t find what we are looking for.

So the Lord keeps drawing me back to Himself.

I hear Him whisper

 ask me Daintry. Ask me.

Fabulous Finds

Fabulous Finds…

For the pale skin, freckley, red heads ☺

As I was getting ready this morning I thought to myself, its taken me about six years to find the perfect colors for my skin tone, a way I can get my hair under control, and just a fast way to get ready every morning without spending two hours doing my makeup and hair.
I wonder how many other pale skin redheads may be doing the same. I wanted to find some products that I could use everyday that didn’t look super heavy. I just wanted a bit of makeup to enhance my skin, my eyes, and lips.
I decided this morning that I need to share what I’ve discovered with my redhead friends!

First, make sure you pour yourself a cup of coffee!...let’s begin!




Skin

My sister is an Aveda hairstylist, so I’m pretty sold on all the Aveda products. The tourmaline charged cleanser I use in the morning. A few minutes scrubbing it into my face and then rinse it off. It adds a little extra glow to my skin! I use the Aveda spot relief for any unwanted blemishes (ugh acne!).
Next, I put on a tiny bit of foundation. I found this Covergirl Clean Foundation that is super light. Just a little bit adds smoothness to my skin! I use the number 210 Classic Ivory. It’s perfect for my skin tone.
Wa-La! You’re finished with your skin!

Eyes
I actually begin putting my mascara on first, before I do my skin routine. I use the Mary Kay black mascara, it really pops! To remove any mascara that gets on your skin, I learned this trick from my sister: put a little bit of lotion on a Q-tip, and use the Q-tip to remove the makeup from your skin (make sure the lotion is face lotion and be careful around your eyes).
Apply your skin makeup.
Next, I use Bare Minerals Primetime. I put a tiny bit on my finger and apply it to my eyelid (all the way up to my eyebrow). This stuff is awesome, it just has a little bit of a shimmer to it. It’s a perfect, everyday eye color.









Lips
Finally, I use a little of Aveda’s lip gloss 870 Crystal Mint. It’s a clear gloss that just enhances the natural color of my lips!









Nails
My husband can testify that one of my favorite things to do is to get my nails done! However, we can’t afford for me to get my nails done every few weeks, so I was recently in search for a new nail polish color! I came across this awesome line, Butter London, and found this amazing green polish that is perfect for those of us that are fair skinned! I use this awesome clear polish as my base coat and top coat called Rejuvacote. It not only works great as a base coat and top coat, but it also helps your nails grow and enhances your nails so they are strong! It’s really awesome stuff. It’s a little spendy, but totally worth it, in my opinion (try to find it on Amazon.com, it’s cheaper!).
The best fall/winter colors for redheads, in my opinion are this green color by Butter London, or OPI black, or bright red. The black polish creates a nice contrast against our pale skin. The red nail polish really is eye catching against our almost white skin.

Apply:
One coat of Rejuvocote.
Two coats of nail polish color.
One more coat of Rejuvocote.

Hope this helps! Stay tuned for my next post on hair: Let’s doody do our Hair!